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Parent/Coach Relations & Guidelines for Discussing Concerns

Parent/Coach Relations

Both parenting and coaching are extremely difficult vocations. By establishing an understanding of each position, we are better able to accept the actions of the others and provide greater benefit to the student. As parents, when your son becomes involved in our program, you have a right to understand what expectations are placed on your student-athletes. This begins with clear communication from the coach of your student-athlete’s program.


Communication you should Expect from your Son’s Coach:

1. Expectations the coach has for your son and the team.

2. Locations and times of all practices and contests

3. Team requirements, i.e. fees, special equipment, off season conditioning, team/individual camps.

4. Procedures, should your student athlete becomes injured during participation.

5. Team/District rules, guideline, and requirements for earning awards.


Communication Coaches Expect from Student-Athletes:

1. Notification of any scheduled conflicts in advance. (in advance is not the day before)

2. Special concerns in regards to a coach’s philosophy and/or expectations.

3. Injury or circumstances that may endanger the athlete when participating.


As your son becomes involved in the Fairport Boys Lacrosse Program, they will experience some of the most rewarding moments of their lives. It is important to understand that there also may be times when things do not go the way your son wishes. At these times, discussion with the coach is encouraged.


Appropriate Concerns to Discuss with Coaches:

1. The treatment of your student-athlete, mentally and physically.

2. Ways to help your son to improve.

3. Concerns about your student-athlete’s behavior.


We understand that it is very difficult to accept your son’s not playing as much as you may hope. Coaches are professionals. They make judgment decisions based on what they believe to be the best for all students involved. As you have seen from the list above, certain things can and should be discussed with your student-athlete’s coach. Other things, such as the following, must be left to the discretion of the coach.


Issues Not Appropriate To Discuss With Coaches:

1. Playing time.

2. Team Strategy.

3. Play calling.

4. Other student-athletes.


There are situations that may require a conference between the coach and the parent. These are to be encouraged. It is important that both parties involved have a clear understanding of the other’s position. When these conferences are necessary, the following procedures should be followed to help promote a resolution to the issue of concern.


Step One

Discuss the situation with your son. Ask him if he has concerns about how his season is going. See if his concerns match your concerns. Then encourage your son to set up a coach and player meeting only. If he feels uncomfortable asking to meet coach, the parent should contact the coach and ask the coach to approach their son about how he feels the season is going. Please let us talk to your son first about any problems. Give us at least five to ten days to fix the problem.


Step Two

If the parent is still unhappy with the situation you can request a parent/player/coach meeting. The player should be present. In this meeting both the parent and the coach can discuss the issue with your son and both sides can explain their viewpoints. Hopefully this will clarify the issues for both sides and help come to a resolution. This is not a meeting to air dislikes of coaching practices, or team training. The meeting should deal with individual concerns over your son and what we, as a group, can do to solve it.


Step Three

A meeting will be set up with parent, athletic director, head coach of the program, the coach of your son’s team, and the player. At this point the parent will be able to voice their concerns to the athletic director, and in turn the coach will be able to express their point of view. The school will review their policies on athletics and the head coach will express their understanding of the issue. It will be up to the Athletic Director at this point to help develop an answer to satisfy the issue at hand. If resolution is not developed, the athletic director will decide which steps are appropriate in solving the issue.


Please Never Do these Things

1. 24 hour rule – never approach a coach after a game and discuss your issues. There is too much emotion involved.

2. Please do not call the coach at home to express your concerns. You may feel free to call and inform the coach that they need to talk to your son about a growing issue. You may also touch base with a coach to set up an appointment. No issue will be solved with an emotional phone call. The coach needs to talk to the player first.

3. Emails have become an easy way to write and express your concerns without talking to the coach first. Use the email to communicate with the coach in a proactive manner. The tone of an email either from a coach or a parent can lead to a negative situation.

4. Refrain from speaking negatively about the coach in the stands or in front of your son. Not everybody may share your

views, and secondly you affect team unity if your son starts to repeat these things with the other players. Please

remember we are all trying to do the best we can, and differing points of view exist with all issues.

5. Please make sure your son has a concern. While you may be unhappy with the situation your son and coach may already be trying to solve it, or in some cases your son has a very different viewpoint of the situation.



Accountability of Actions

This will vary by the situation.

1. Warning

2. Meeting with coach(s) & athletic director

3. Suspension from contests


Unruly behavior will not be tolerated without being held accountable. Yelling at officials, opposing players, fans does not in any way help us win games. It in fact hurts us and the Team. These behaviors could result in any of the Accountability actions listed above.